Surgery is tomorrow ... How do I feel? :( :( :(

Well, it's around midnight and, although I'm quite calm, quiet, serene, and introspective, I must admit that I am somewhat nervous... More than somewhat actually. I've got much on my mind... On top of jitters, and debating whether or not to write notes to my family :(... Although I also feel that a new chance at life has been handed to me. For those who think weight loss surgery is the easy way out, this is the moment of truth... The moment when you know that, albeit the risks presented by surgery, this is the way out. Liberation from the prison of obesity and its constant chackles of shame, depression, social anxiety, social withdrawal, inability to live to one's full potential, and the crippling feeling of inadequacy watching life just pass you by and not being able to conquer this ONE thing... No, it is not because you cannot control what you put in your mouth, are lazy, and are a lost case... It is because your brain, hormones, mind, physiology, intellect, spirit, and body have given up the fight. It is understanding that surgery is not a panacea but rather a jumpstart to allow you to implement newly formed behavior and habits and to address the dysfunctional relationship you have with food, and with whatever it helps you cope with... It is saying goodbye to your dependable old best friend who has carried you through the peaks and valleys of your life and embracing your new best friend: the one who has been screaming for help, the one you have suppressed, the one you have deemed unreachable and out of your league, the one who deserves a healthy and happy life... Yup! THAT ONE! The YOU you know you can be!!! Much love on the journey ahead to all my newbies! God willing, all will go well, and I will be updating tomorrow after surgery!